Insurance Agents Southwest Hills, Oregon

Beginning a search for insurance agents in Southwest Hills, Oregon? At Schmidt Insurance Group in Lake Oswego, we do our best to design the best insurance plan for protecting your finances, your family, your property, and your prized possessions.

Schmidt Insurance Group opened its doors in Lake Oswego in 2019 with a goal of making insurance easy while providing exceptional customer service. We proudly serve the local Portland area in addition to all of Oregon and Washington.

Our team consists of born-and-raised Oregonians who are specially trained in high-net-worth households and can help you find the exact amount of coverage you need.

The Lighter Side of Insurance

We understand that choosing the right type and coverage for all your insurance needs can be a challenging experience and that sometimes we need to just take a moment and relax. So, here are some insurance jokes to help ease your mind as we compile the best options for you!

• “Would Transformers buy life insurance…or car insurance?” We are still pondering that one but will happily quote both!
• “What do you call earthquake and fire policy add-ons for home insurance?” We call them Shake ‘n’ Bake policies.
• “A client was surprised to find out that his fire and theft policy only covers him if he gets robbed while his house is burning.” This is why we always tell you to read those documents!
• “A client told us that he’d just saved a bunch of money on auto insurance after he put the car in reverse and drove away from the accident.” We told him he could go to jail!
• “What’s the best thing about turning 65?” No more calls from life insurance salespeople.
• Overheard in conversation, “Buying insurance is what keeps people poor so they can end up dying rich.”
• “Last week I bought a policy for retirement. All I have to do is pay my premiums for the next 15 years and my agent can retire!”
• “Marry an insurance agent.” You won’t necessarily live longer, but it will seem that way!
• “Some species of female spiders eat the males after mating.” They understand that it’s much easier to collect life insurance than child support.
• “My spouse and I took out life insurance policies on each other.” Now, it’s just a waiting game!
• “What’s the difference between a man and a whole life policy?” A whole life policy will eventually mature.
• “What do insurance and women have in common?” They are both difficult to understand, expensive, and what you get isn’t guaranteed.
• “Wise man say: Needing insurance is like needing parachute. No have first time, no need second.”
• “What do insurance policies have in common with hospital gowns?” You are never as covered as you think you are!
• “Medical insurance enables people to be ill at ease.”
• “When your insurance company sends you half a calendar you know you are getting old!”
• “I don’t have life insurance and I’m not getting it! I plan on going out the same way I came in.” As a burden to my family.

We understand that some of these are a little cranky and make insurance agents seem like boring people, but hopefully the sheer fact that we are able to laugh at ourselves will prove to you that we are just as human as you are. We want to help ensure that you and your family are covered in the event of an accident while enjoying your experience with our agents.

So, when you are looking for insurance agents in Southwest Hills, Oregon, don’t skip talking to our professionals at Schmidt Insurance Group. You can contact us today at 503.506.4554, stop by for some coffee, or get a quote online.